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In The World According to Student Bloopers by Richard Lederer, we read the following hilarious attempts to re-write history by dubious scholars.
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The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first
book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple
tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, 'Am I my brother's son?'
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without
straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleaved
bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee.
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, Hurrah!."
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife dies and he wrote Paradise Regained.
The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back.
Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which
proved very fatal to them.
The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers.
Many people died, and many babies were born. Captain John Smith
was responsible for all this.
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while
traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an
envelope.
Lincoln's mother dies in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
Beethoven wrote music, even though he was deaf. He
was so deaf, he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the
forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired
in 1827 and later died for this.
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